My dad rang me on Thursday night.
“We’re going to Tenerife tomorrow.”
“Wow, lucky you!”
“Well, your mother and I decided not to waste the holiday we booked from work since we were meant to be fetching you from France.
(Small grumblings from dad at this point – he’s still bitter about the fact that he booked non-refundable ferry tickets for the end of my working contract, not knowing that I would be extending it…)
“We booked it last week, we chose somewhere to get some sun. Only I’ve just looked at the bloody weather forecast and the weather’s going to be better here than in Tenerife! Sod’s law. ”
So there we have it. Not only has my Dad been rejected by England and France, now he’s also been rejected by Tenerife. Looks like he’s due some rain this week.
But, Brits are used to the rain, and also used to the famous Sod’s Law. Which is probably why we love the idea that ‘every cloud has a silver lining’. Here was my dad’s:
“Still, at least we get away from the bloody Royal Wedding.”
As much as I’m pretty sure nobody was going to make my dad watch the Royal Wedding at gun-point, I can kind of see where he’s coming from. Even from France I can feel the Royal Wedding hysteria, and we don’t even get an extra bank holiday here! Facebook has the right idea – a group named ‘That awkward moment when Kate Middleton says NO.’
BUT. What I will thank Kate and William for, is endless lesson material. Because English people love creating terrible memorabilia for Royal Weddings, and my French kids are absolutely loving this shit; especially the Royal Wedding Garden Gnomes, Condoms (let’s face it, they were always going to cause a riot in a class of 17 year olds), and of course, the Royal Wedding Fridge. ???
It also meant I could sit back and do nothing while my mini-protégés created their own Royal Wedding… ‘merchandise’. I already posted my favourite on Facebook; it was the Royal Wedding Home Air Freshener named The ‘SWAK’ – ‘Smell William and Kate’. The three buttons allowed you to choose which scent you wanted in your home: William’s scent, Kate’s scent, or the scent of William and Kate’s dog. Very nice, Corentin.
I had various items from my classes of Seconde; the most popular being found in the bathroom: toilet-seat covers, toilet brushes, and of course toilet roll. I had a handful of umbrellas, some Royal Wedding cigarettes, some Royal Wedding seeds.
‘Collect Kate and William’s officiale seeds!’
… I did not try and explain the ambiguous meaning of this item to my 15 year old student. Needless to say it made me smile on a dull Friday afternoon.
But by far my favourite item of the past week has to be Quentin’s creation…
Pretty sure the Queen is going to buy this: